Twin Comments

First of all damn that Benjamin Franklin and his crazy ideas. Yeah, I'll concede that the whole electricity and an independent United States are pretty good ones, but daylight savings time? Obviously he never had twin babies who like to go to bed early and get up early. Thanks to Mr. Franklin, the girls are back to wanting to go to bed at 7 PM and wanting to get up at 6 AM.

Now, on to my main topic - twin comments. Now, I'm sure all parents of adorable singleton babies get lots of comments, but parents of baby twins are constantly bombarded with the same inane comments from strangers day in and day out. I'm not saying that I mind the comments so much, but I have discovered that most folks aren't very original. Here are the biggies that I get all the time along with how I might respond if I were less polite, how I actually respond, and what I think the subtext of the comment/question is (if there is one).

Comment: You have your hands full*
What I'd like to say: Duh
What I do say: Ha, ha, yes, I do!

Comment: Were you surprised when you found out you were having twins?
What I'd like to say: Duh/None of your business
What I do say: Yeah, I guess so. Aren't twins always a surprise?
Subtext: Did you do fertility treatments?

Comment: Do twins run in your family?
What I'd like to say: None of your business
What I do say: Sort of.
Subtext: Did you do fertility treatments?

Comment: Are they identical?
What I'd like to say: Are you blind?
What I do say: No, they're fraternal.

Comment: How do you tell them apart?
What I'd like to say: Are you blind? Or maybe - how do you tell anyone apart? How do you tell your kids apart?
What I do say: Well, they're not identical. Sometimes I'll point out their differences, but it seems a bit ridiculous to point out to a complete (and obviouly unobservant) stranger that one baby has dark hair and the other doesn't.

Comment: Oh, how cute - a girl and a boy?
What I'd like to say: Umm, does the fact that both babies are wearing pink and are in pink, flowered carseats (this was when they were in their bucket seats) give you any clue?
What I do say: No, two girls. Though sometimes I do ask which one they think the boy is.

Comment: How do you do it?
What I'd like to say: I just do it.
What I do say: Umm, I just do it.
Subtext: I think you're awesome for raising two obviously brilliant and healthy babies at the same time.

Comment: My babysitter's boyfriend's aunt is having twins! (this was an actual comment I got from someone while in line at Costco).
What I'd like to say: Yay, we have so much in common. Would you like to be my BFF?
What I do say: Wow, that's great.

Comment: My kids are only 14 months apart, so it's just like having twins.
What I'd like to say: I'm sure having kids so close in age has it's own challenges and maybe even harder than having twins in some respects. Trust me, though, it's not like having twins.
What I do say: Yes, I'm sure it is.
Subtext: I have it rough, too, you know!


*This is the number one comment I get by far.